Valentine’s Day often brings expectations of romance and physical intimacy. Some couples may feel obligated to have sex due to the holiday. Singles may feel pressured to find a hookup. However, obligatory intimacy rarely leads to fulfilling experiences.
According to an Elite Daily survey, 14 per cent of women and just six per cent of men “don’t care about having sex with their partner” for Valentine’s. If you’re apathetic about sex on V-day, you’re in the very clear minority. – Lee Suckling writes on NZ Herald
Feeling stressed to engage in intimacy on Valentine’s Day is not uncommon. The anticipation of the day can create expectations that may not necessarily be fulfilled. High expectations often lead to disappointment, and it’s essential to question why these expectations exist in the first place.
- Peer Pressure: Societal norms and peer pressure can contribute to the feeling that intimacy is obligatory on Valentine’s Day.
- Stress and Its Impact: Stress is known to negatively affect sexual experiences. The pressure to perform can overshadow the genuine connection between partners.
Here is what you can do:
Reframing Perspectives:
It’s important to dispel the notion that having sex on Valentine’s Day is a mandatory requirement for a fulfilling celebration. According to an Elite Daily survey, a significant percentage of people, 14% of women and 6% of men, express indifference towards having sex on Valentine’s Day. Being apathetic about intimacy on this day is entirely normal and acceptable.
Alternative Approaches:
To ease the stress associated with Valentine’s Day intimacy, consider these alternatives:
- Don’t feel obligated to hook up just because it’s Valentine’s Day.
- Reschedule Intimacy: Instead of focusing solely on the day itself, reschedule intimate moments to before and after Valentine’s Day. This approach can help maintain excitement without the pressure.
- Solo Celebration: Spend the day focusing on self-love and exploration. Invest in new sex toys, delve into new sensations like butt stuff, and celebrate your own pleasure.
- Celebrate love broadly through time with friends/family, acts of self-kindness, and enjoying hobbies that spark joy.
Enhancing Intimacy with Your Partner:
For those who do plan to engage in intimacy on Valentine’s Day, consider these steps:
- Don’t assume your partner expects sex. Ask openly about their preferences.
- Explore Something New: Break away from routine and explore new aspects of intimacy with your partner. Communicate openly about desires and introduce new elements to keep the experience fresh.
- Prioritize Communication: Focus on emotional intimacy through conversation. Share fantasies, xpressing appreciation, revisit memories, try new toys, and discuss trying different positions. Open communication can enhance intimacy and foster a deeper connection.
The healthiest approach is shedding assumptions and communicating authentically. Instead of conforming to norms, purposefully shape the day based on your values. With creativity and openness, Valentine’s can nurture your unique bond.
